Thank you.

My binge consumption is a little different. But I’m finding it equally hard to break the cycle.

I fast Monday-Wednesday. Then I fast until 5pm Thursday-Sunday, eating 5-9pm only. I feel much much better fasted. All inflammation goes, I sleep well, I heal and generally feel much better. So I am not inclined to give this feeling up.

I eat whatever I want, I just don’t ‘want’ junk food. I make everything from scratch. But I don’t eat (or want) dairy, gluten, processed foods or sugar, because I don’t want them. If I want cake, I make a cake, it’s just a healthy one, or a dairy free cheesecake or eat berries or pears. So it’s not that kind of binging. But I binge raw vegetables (because I LOVE their flavor and crunch and mouth feel!). I am them uncontrollably thirsty, so I drink several liters of water. I realise that fiber acts like a sponge. But my biggest pain producer is homemade kombucha. This then bloats me out. Huge painful stomach, unable to walk properly. Then can’t go to bed for hours.

I don’t want to stop fasting, I like how I feel fasted. But the under the skin fluid retention from imbalanced electrolytes and the painful bloating if I eat, is exhausting.

Don’t know why I’m commenting this. I guess sometimes you just need to get it off your chest. Can’t talk to my mum about it, though I have told her I believe I have an eating disorder. I’m 44 and have been eating like this for many years. My husband doesn’t think I should fast, but I feel so much better and more capable when I do.

Thank you Megan for sharing your struggles with binge eat and practical steps you took to recover. I have tears in my eyes, I have struggled with binge eating since I was 15 yrs old when I started my first diet (the scarsdale diet), I wasn’t overweight was 5ft tall and 115lbs very muscular as I was into gymnastics; but my sister was anorexic 5’3″ 98lbs, so next to her in photos I looked huge in my own eyes. I’ve been doing the same as you, tired every diet imaginable, some success then, do to binging undo all I accomplished. I’ve been dealing with the shame and loss of control around food for over 40yrs now and very overweight and starting to have health problems now because of it. You have inspired me to seek professional help and to try to really give up dieting and just nourish my body. Thank you for your honest and encouraging words. I look forward to trying your healthy recipes.
Best Wishes, Jen

Joan, I am curious about where you’re coming from – what is necessarily obsessive about weight loss? Besides, maybe I misread, but I thought Megan specifically said she didn’t focus on weight loss and that’s how she healed. And as far as the embarrassment with binge eating, that’s actually one of the diagnostic criteria – that feeling of shame when one binges – that’s what they help with (in part) with the mental health treatment. I think it’s helpful for Megan to mention the shame/embarrassment because it’s a hallmark feature of the disorder of Binge Eating (before recovery). It’s a symptom. She’s just describing where she started, not where she ended up. The shame is part of the disorder itself, is another way of putting it, and it’s also completely normal – so normal that it’s literally part of the diagnosis. We all feel so alone with this, that it’s nice to know we’re not the only ones who felt embarrassed. And I found the article to be personally really helpful, and it appears from the comments, I’m not alone. I’m sorry that something here struck a cord with you, but I think you may have misunderstood a little bit and that’s why it seemed insensitive to you.

Joanne

I am 47 years old and very overweight due to binge eating. I remember binge eating in elementary school but was never overweight massively until after I got pregnant. I have ‘started’ diet after diet and the ‘perfect’ way to eat to finally lose weight for decades. I became massively overweight about 15 years ago due to binge eating and it has affected EVERY aspect of my life. I felt suicidal. My mom has a huge problem with food, even now in her 70’s, that greatly affected me.

I began seeing a therapist about 6 months ago when I read an article describing binge eating disorder. I had no idea I had an eating disorder. I knew I had a massive problem with food and thus have spent the last 20 years starting Atkins or Keto etc on a Monday. I could never do it. I still wonder if I am addicted to sugar/flour. However, I know if I try to restrict these foods, I go on massive binges to eat them before I ‘start’ keto the next day.

I have lost about 43 pounds since starting therapy the last 6 months. My therapist definitely does not have all the answers. The most helpful has been reading stories from those who recovered from binge eating like yours.

I still need to lose another like 80 pounds and I can feel depressed and hopeless about it. It’s hard for me to not try keto so I’m not addicted to carbs, but the way I’m currently doing (small changes, incorporating healthy foods, not restricting, learning what triggers my binges, dealing with feeling empty emotionally etc) has been the only thing to actually have me lose weight and keep it off. It is very hopeless at times, but I thank you for your honesty as it truly does help people, especially those who don’t realize they have this eating disorder.

I love your name, ‘sunshine’ : ) I can relate to EVERYTHING you said. For me, if I eat sugar/simple carbs, it’s a downward spiral for the day of eating everything I shouldn’t, like I have no control over it. I will say eating according to ayurveda has helped me overall tremendously (typically the above is just for a day, then I’m able to get back on track). I’m going to be praying for you because I’ve found that only God can help me with this (self control issues), and when I stay close to Him, he does ; )
Blessings . . .

I’ve jokingly referred to myself as a ‘carboholic’ since I was in my early 20s (I’m in my early 40s now) and I’ve come to realize that’s a truer statement than I may have thought. I’ve always been a junk food junkie, since childhood.

When I discovered the primal/paleo way of eating, I realized the disservice I had been doing myself over the years – asthma, allergies, eczema, autoimmune disease, ADHD…. I’m like a poster child for a gluten-free, sugar-free existence, right? Ugh.

I found primal/paleo in 2010 and that started my ride. I discovered that most fruits triggered my sugar cravings, and that certain vegetables triggered a physiological response that wasn’t great. Doctors always just wanted to recommend the standard American diet – lots of lean meat and whole grins – and that’s just not what I need.

Then I found carnivore, and was able to maintain that for about a year – it was one of the best things to ever happen to my body. My skin looked amazing, my sleep was fantastic, my energy levels were, well, LEVEL, and my asthma, allergies and autoimmune disease all but disappeared. But then my divorce happened and I slowly (then not so slowly) slid down a hill of despair, littered with Oreo cookies and Twizzler nibs. :o(

I’m struggling, hard. No therapist has been helpful. They continually tell me how smart I am, and how I just need to do x, y, and z. The ADHD makes my impulse control almost non-existent, and my executive function leaves much to be desired.

I keep trying to climb back onto my carnivore wagon, for a 30-day reset and within a week… I’m gnoshing on all the things, like a troll in the corner… just shoveling it in.

Today I ate two bags of nibs, a whole row of Oreos and Taco Bell for lunch. wtf. I’m so sick of this cycle. Sorry to ramble for so long. I’m just so relieved to have found this post, and still so frustrated with myself.